Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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