my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize