He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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