Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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