I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
