i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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