I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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