I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
