i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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