But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
