Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
