So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
