$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
