just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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