Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
PANTIES FOUND
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