well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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