Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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