Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize