what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
