i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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