I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
