Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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