I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
