doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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