if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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