Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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