I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
