oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Still dying that you shit outside
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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