Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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