YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
