Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
