Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
