I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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