and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
