At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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