Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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