Soap is not a condiment
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Randomize