His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
