Dude my mom stole all your condoms
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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