I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
