would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just google imaged poop.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
