I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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