I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
