I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
