Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
