Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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