i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
