i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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