You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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