apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
