38 yer olds are good kisserssss
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
