she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need to sanitize my soul.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
