So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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