She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
