I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
