he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
