I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
