I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
