I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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