just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
