i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
