Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
