We won't sleep together?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
