watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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