Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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