Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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