I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
