My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Randomize
