; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
